Mid-Week Musing w/iAm EnerJi
What’s up Hip Hop & Hookah Fam?
I hope you enjoyed the playlist I put out on Monday this week. My goal is to get back to weekly playlist posts like I was doing in 2018 before things took a shift in my professional life last Fall. There are several creative outlets I’m looking forward to reigniting now that I’ve found myself once again coasting through the in-between. This blog, for example, is something I hope to produce on a weekly basis - every Wednesday I’m going to write about something that’s been on my mind; something culturally or socially relevant; or perhaps even offer some movie, music, product, or recipe reviews. Hell, this might even become an area for advice or Q&A!
Art by GDBee.Art - Follow her on IG!
For the time being, though, let’s start with something that’s been on my mind. On June 19th, 2019, for the first time in a my life, I quit my job. I mean, I’ve left relatively disposable part time work behind on one or two occasions, but the whole ‘write up a letter of resignation because you have serious beef with the way you’re being treated in your professional work-sphere and then turn it in, effective immediately’ thing - that was new to me.
I have to say - the whole endeavor has proven ultimately to be pretty empowering. Scary? Yes. Stressful? Not as stressful as going to a job every day where you are being micromanaged (their actual words, not mine), enduring behavior that could easily be classified as harassment, and feeling largely unsupported by a system that has been revealed to be broken. Bearing the burden of perpetual unhappiness in a place where you spend the majority of your time each week is something nobody should have to endure. True, for most people, a job is a job is a job. Sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it. But you have to know what you’re willing to put up with and I found myself at a breaking point after trying to hang on for longer than I should have.
There are many reasons why I’m proud of myself for taking the leap into the unknown, but the biggest reason is - I knew I wasn’t happy and I was not afraid to do something about it - this time. I have stayed in jobs, relationships, and friendships that I knew had long passed their expiration date for the sake of propriety. To spare the offending party’s feelings. To avoid conflict. Out of fear of one thing or another. And it wasn’t uncommon for me to end up being the one who got burned in the long run because I was trying to convince myself that I was doing the mature thing or trying to ‘play fair’. What I didn’t realize then is how much time, energy, and Self I was sacrificing for someone or something that had no problem casting me aside unceremoniously once they or it was done with me. Owning my place in the driver’s seat this go round was a refreshing release. Do I have any idea where I’m heading? Not yet. But at least the choice was MINE. I took control of my destiny and my reality and goodness has been manifesting ever since.
It feels good to intentionally break a toxic cycle. As frightening as it can be to make a major change like this, I’ve found an unexpected peace in knowing the decision to move on was totally my own. There have been many times that the Universe has made the tough decisions for me and while the end result was absolutely what was best, the way by which I arrived at it tended to be abrupt, tumultuous, and extremely stressful. This time around the same concerns for the unknown are there, but I am examining them calmly, doing the very best that I can with what I have, and trusting that the Universe will deliver me successfully to my next more fulfilling and rewarding opportunity - relatively unscathed.
I share this experience in the hopes that if there is someone reading this that may be grappling with themselves over what to do about a difficult situation in which they feel stuck, they will find inspiration and resolve. Don’t be afraid to jump into the abyss. If your current reality is not to your liking and you can do anything at all to remove yourself from it - DO IT. Do. Not. Hesitate. There is so much beauty and power in letting go of that which no longer serves you. Life is way too short for bullshit.
Hey - let me know what you thought of this post! Do you agree? Disagree? Are you going through something similar? Have you recently severed ties from a toxic environment and want to share your musings? Drop a comment below! And as always, help us grow the Hip Hop & Hookah audience by liking and sharing the content.
I’ll be back next week Monday with a new post of a different sort so make sure you come back to check it out!
Until next time, Loves. Stay elevated!
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